I Used To Feel Ashamed About My Painfully Slow Growth as a Writer.

Not anymore. Here's why.

👋 Hi, I’m Irene! Welcome to The Happiness Diary Entry 12. 

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2.03K.

That’s the total number of views I’ve gotten since writing on Medium in April 2021.

In the last 2.5 years, I’ve written 58 articles, commented 387 times, and gotten 335 followers.

So, yes, I’ve been growing at a snail-like pace. 

Almost every other day, I see writers posting about their incredible growth on Medium. I see writers who started years after me, reach 1K+ followers or gain 300+ followers every day.

Seeing these articles used to make me feel like crap about myself and my writing. Used to make me feel discouraged. Used to make me feel inferior. And I used to get this feeling of someone grabbing my heart and squeezing hard. 

My inner critic would take hold of me, and I’d question, “Why them? Why not me? What are they doing that I’m not? What do they have that I don’t?”

But recently I realized… 

These thoughts weren’t serving me. And the only thing holding me back from achieving my writing goals is me. So I refuse to let myself fall down this rabbit hole of negative thoughts. 

I choose to reframe my mindset: I will no longer feel ashamed about my painfully slow growth as a writer. Instead…

I will feel grateful for my slow growth. 

Don’t ever forget this

I feel humbled. 

The slow growth reminds me I’m nowhere near the top of my game. It reminds me I have something to learn from everyone. From writers starting with zero followers to the top 1% of writers on Medium.

You’d be a fool to think you’re better than anyone.

Use it as fuel

You’re wasting your time feeling depressed about your slow growth.

Instead of blaming the algorithm. Instead of thinking your writing sucks. Instead of feeling discouraged and thinking about quitting… 

Wouldn’t it be a wiser choice to use your energy to get better at writing? What does this look like?

It means going on Medium to look at the best-performing articles. Study their headlines. Subheadings. Introductions. Conclusions. Call-to-actions. Formatting. 

It means doing copywork. (Recently, I’ve started to write Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday at night by hand. Why? Because I love his writing style. And I want to internalize his style and rhythm.)

It means compiling power words and bridge words in a Google Doc and using it as a reference when you’re writing your headlines and articles. (I started doing this, too.)

The bottom line is, you have a choice.

You can feel like crap about your lack of growth. 

Or you can use it to get better.

It’s testing you

I’ve never committed to learning a sport, instrument, or anything before.

I quit track and field when I lost the 100m dash in the regional competitions in grade 8. I quit violin after a few months of learning because it required constant, deliberate practice. And I (almost) quit writing when I got rejected from Thought Catalog in 2018. 

I’ve never had the grit to pursue anything. 

So, I’m thankful for my slow growth as a writer. Why?

Because it’s testing me. 

Every day, it’s asking me: Will you continue writing? Even if nobody is reading your work? Even if it might take 5, 7, or 10 years to produce any result? Even if there’s no guarantee something will come out of it? 

Will you do the work to get better anyway?

My answer is yes.

What will yours be?

Don’t believe this lie

Society teaches us there’s a cap on all good things in life.

X people can be admitted into a university. X people can be successful YouTubers. X people can be successful writers. 

This is a limiting mindset. It’s causing us to operate in scarcity. It’s causing us to compete, feel jealous, and wish misfortune upon others.

And ironically, that’s what keeps us from reaching our goals. Because the world reflects your feelings back to you. Because when you hate on other people’s success, you’re stumping your own success.

Look, there’s no cap on how many people can be successful writers. So supporting another writer’s success will never dampen yours. 

In fact, when you celebrate their success genuinely, you’re signalling to the universe you love winning.

And you’ll win more often yourself.

Final Thoughts

You can choose to feel ashamed and depressed about your slow growth as a writer. Or you can use it to:

• Stay humble

• Hone your craft

• Play the long game

• Shift to an abundance mindset

Then, in 5, 7, 10 years, you’ll enjoy the fruits of your effort.

So, what’s your choice going to be?

Give up after 90 days? 3 months? 6 months? Even after 2 years with little-to-no traction?

Or win because you outlast everyone no matter what it takes?

The choice is yours.

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